I’m not sure I ever fully figured Pop-Pop out. Early last week I mentioned to Abe that when I think about Pop-Pop, I am amazed at what an easygoing guy he was, to which Abe replied, “really?!” So I thought about it a little bit more, and realized that maybe I was sugarcoating things just a little bit. After all, Pop-Pop ate approximately 10 items: meat, cheese, carrots, pickles, grapes, celery, omelets, mussels, tomatoes, veal parmesan, and iceberg lettuce if it was covered in thousand island dressing. A few of those were often the only items in his fridge, and he ate in the three restaurants that best produced the rest of them. He drank only two beverages in the 9.5 years I knew him: Tab and Seltzer. While he would play Hearts on the computer or in person, he refused to play any other game that we played in his presence, preferring to watch and laugh at us. And no matter how hard we tried, how cunning or persuasive we thought we were, or how logical our arguments were, there was no convincing Pop-Pop to do something he did not want to do. So maybe he wasn’t the most easygoing person after all…
But Pop-Pop’s heart seemed to expand infinitely more than his palate did. I honestly don’t remember the first time I met him, but for all of the last 9 or so years, Pop-Pop made me feel like a part of his family, despite how undeserving I was of his generosity. After an early visit to Syosset with Abe, when I realized I had left my phone at his house and took the train back out to get it, he brought my phone to the train station and tried to pay for my train rides! A couple years later, he asked Abe for my birthday so he could book my trip to Punta Cana before Abe had proposed or even invited me along! But that’s because Pop-Pop already knew since he had so generously gifted Abraham with the gorgeous diamond he would set in my engagement ring, my daily reminder of him and the family I was lucky enough to join. And at the Shabbat dinner before our wedding, when he met my grandfather for the first time, the two businessmen bartered about how much I would be sold for, ultimately settling on a whopping $40! I’m now wondering if he thought I felt too much like family…
He called me “Trouble” every time I saw him, including on Facetime just a couple weeks ago, and his first question to me in every single conversation was always about my parents, wanting to make sure they were doing okay. Pop-Pop tried to get rid of me on many occasions, particularly when I nagged him to try something there was no chance he was ever going to try, but during our last call this past Tuesday, our banter melted into genuine love. I told him he looked wonderful, that I was grateful for him, and over and over that I loved him, and in response, he was all smiles, blowing me kisses that will last me a lifetime.
Pop-Pop, you were a man of sense and strength and iron will, right up until the end. Your commitment to, and generosity with, those who were lucky enough to be loved by you dictated everything you did and everything you worked for. You were a remarkable role model to your children and grandchildren of what a life partner should be, and while I will certainly miss you in my life, I take great comfort in knowing you’ve been reunited with yours, a kindhearted beauty I am saddened to have never met. I am grateful to have learned from you and laughed with you and been loved by you. If there’s one regret I have, it’s that I never got you to eat that damn brussels sprout. Well, here’s to hoping that wherever you are, they’re roasted and covered in bacon. Rest in Peace.
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